like an old instamatic

I want to try to write about the beginning, the middle, and the now-middle…  I have written a lot, the old fashioned way – journals – one day my son might read… If he can decipher my sloppy script (I try).

When I look back, his pictures show the decline and I recognize IT — BOOM… IT started right there! He was so sick, lucky for no DKA… In my mind, IT was a mistake, even though my brother was DXd with IT at 5 and I knew what IT was, surely IT was a mistake… after all, he was livin’ on breast milk and pedialyte for 2 weeks, y’know it all made sense, IT was just a ‘bug’ and the sugar-y pedialyte made the temporary 800+ BG, right…?  I mean isn’t that possible? why won’t the docs listen to me, “HELL-LO — He has been  l i v i n g   o n   P E D I A L Y T E…!   pedialyte = s u g a r … so won’t IT just all go back to ‘normal’ after he gets over this ‘bug’ and we stop forcing pedialyte…?

I found one article about 2 adolescents in England that drank huge amounts of soda and caused a temporary high BG and illness that sent them both to the ER and it resolved after 3 days.  ONE – just one article in the hundreds of archives of medicine that I searched trying to wrap my mind around the echoing sounds of “diabetes”  “your son”  “hospital”  “GO NOW”… then there was “bicarb” “insulin” “fluids”…

Still, I quoted the article, brought copies to the Endo that week – SEE RIGHT HERE!?!

Jan 23 2007, like an old instamatic – days felt strange, popping out at me, stick-y smear-y static-y moments of time looking all

      faded with tungsten-like hues and colors that didn’t really represent reality,

               absolutely more vivid now than when it was real-time.