letting go ….and there it went…

ANTICIPATION… of this day, today. Since the moment I signed him up, for ‘create-a-musical’ camp, I have been in anticipation.  I have been thinking…  a lot.  I have been talking to myself… a lot.  I have reached out to other parents and I have rehearsed every possible scenario of how I would manage “IT”…

An hour on the phone with camp counselor the night before.  She had many questions and truly wanted to understand everything and even remarked how ‘they’ had to give eye drops to a student once that had to be scheduled at specific times throughout the day, so she has had kids with ‘medical needs’ before, not to worry.

My response:  Oh, Ok.  Well insulin is a little different and blood sugar checks, but he will have his phone.

My brain:  What?  Eye drops?  Dude (yes, I now say ‘dude’) – this is NOT red and itchy eyes!!!  

           Insulin IS…

                            NOT tobramycin

                                NOT visine, and 

                                       WON’T cure the redness and itching

      TYPE ONE diabetes is…

                            NOT conjunctivitis

                                  NOT contagious, and

                                           WON’T go away with 4 daily doses over 10 days!

              …there was so much more in my brain, for hours — I digress and on to the point…

…this was about LETTING GO and

                          well, here is how IT WENT…

9AM:  Have a great time – see ya later – you have glucose in your pocket…?  I’ll be right over there at B&N, reading (not really, just skimming pages because Ill be thinking about your LIFE!)

10-ish – RING!

Hi Mom, gonna have a snack, I’m 134, gonna have (whispers, lets see thats 10, 20, 2 …) 22 carbs pecans and coconut milk – 22 carbs, wants to give 0.8, ok? …giving 0.7 and 0.1 for correction, OK?

Yep – sounds good

Ok – giving… bye.

Bye – Have fun…

Got up first time… also stunning…

Stunning – very happy for my little Obi-wan…

Got up first time…

…and so it went, our first time…

                            “camp without mom”

The day went the same, lunch, snack, all good,

— quick 8-year-old-boy-like  — “conversations”

Next day, same, then lunch call:

Hi Mom

Hey bud

I was 328, but I washed my hands and tested again – I was 181.

My brain:  WHAT!!  OMG – Really!!!  YOU retested on your own – YOU thought about the number and it didn’t seem right???  … and YOU retested…! ! !….didn’t give yourself 2 units when you only needed 0.5, thus creating a low so low you had to climb and scratch your way out on top of 5 juice boxes…?  Why wasn’t THAT liberating scenario in my never-ending self-talk?

My response:  Awesome – good thinking.  I am so proud of you for thinking that through and retesting. Good job Owen.

Yeah, so, gonna eat X carbs and wants to give X insulin… giving X + Y for correction, Ok?

Yep sounds good.

Ok giving, bye, see ya at 3.

Ok have fun.

Letting go and there it went… into the good hands of himself…

There he goes….

…cleared for takeoff…